After everything I have been through in my life (and yes, I’ll be the first to admit it, so much of which was a product of my own creation), I have FINALLY arrived at what I would call a “healthy place”. I am truly beginning to see the value and worth that I bring to the table. I have begun to think in terms of “Also” rather than “Just”. I work hard every day to limit my negative self-talk, to surround myself with people and ideas that inspire me, and to build a life I am proud of. Some days are still a struggle, and just like breaking any other bad habit, sometimes I stumble. I slip into my old ways of thinking. Sometimes I fall 100% on my face with this, and those are the bad days. Luckily, the bad days don’t happen all that often. I am stronger than I was a year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago. I am a completely different person than I was when I started this journey, and 5 years from now I hope I will be able to look back and see how much I’ve grown. I am proud of who I have become, and who I continue to grow to be everyday, but I sure can’t take all the credit for the changes. I have had SO MUCH HELP along the way, and that brings me to why we are here in the first place.
I am a “helper”. I always have been. When I look back at the characteristics that have always been at my core, the number 1 thing I would say about myself is that I’m loud and outgoing. It is what it is, and I have embraced my love of being social, of claiming glitter as my favorite color, and of needing to own Urban Decay eyeliner in every crazy color ever invented. But my number 2 strongest characteristic is my desire to help people. You can see it even in the TYPE of nursing I chose to pursue. I truly believe that surgical patients are the most vulnerable patient population out there. They’re asleep y’all, they literally can’t do anything to advocate or protect themselves. So I do for them what they can’t do on their own.
My reason for being in this business stems from that same place. To SO MANY PEOPLE, “self-care” sounds a whole lot like “selfish”. It’s a buzz word. Something we see on an IG story from a celebrity who spends $1200 on a facial and uses hashtags to make you want to be like her. We see these posts of people spending all day at the spa; we see posts of beautiful 20-somethings relaxing and being waited on all day. We see the #selfcaresunday and we don’t think in terms of “Yes I need this for me”. Instead we think “Yeah, that’s super cute Jenner, but I can barely get 5 minutes alone to go to the bathroom, much less take off a whole day of my life for facials I couldn’t ever afford anyway”. For many, many people, the idea of taking care of themselves comes last on the priority list. Not first. Hell, it doesn’t rank in the Top 10 things to do THIS MONTH. My mission in life is to change that perception.
Remember at the beginning of this, when I talked about all the labels? Not ONCE in there was I thinking about myself. My soul purpose in life back then was taking care of other people!! And that got me running in circles, never catching my breath, and always feeling like I was disappointing someone. It’s a nasty spiral, and one I played with for far too long. I had to learn to take care of ME, so that I could be strong enough to take care of others. “Self-care” doesn’t have to mean spending all day avoiding your other responsibilities, and it for SURE doesn’t mean you are being selfish. It can be something as simple as giving yourself 10 minutes in the morning to meditate before the kids wake up. It can be locking the bathroom door for a 5 minute facemask. It can even be scheduling a “date night” with your bathtub once a week so you can recharge and relax (this one is my personal favorite…seriously, I treat my bath time like a divine right, and I don’t let ANYTHING mess with that schedule!)
The point? Most people have a misrepresentation of what it means to practice self-care. They just don’t really know what that means or WHY it is so stinking important to life. That’s why I do this. I do this to help teach people what they don’t know. I do this to help people find THEIR VERSION of self-care. And I do this to empower people to stand up for themselves and finally find the voice to say “ I AM WORTH IT”. To help people learn how to help themselves is my #1 goal, and I consider it both an honor and a serious responsibility.
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